You have a gratitude practice, regularly pray and meditate on God’s Word – but it just isn’t enough……. you still struggle to connect with joy and happiness.
Ever felt like this? I know I have. In fact, I have been keeping a gratitude journal for almost ten years – one of those cute little books where it is “one line a day” and it gives you space for 5 years all in one book! I am well into my second book.
Gratitude is about intentionally noticing and appreciating the things in life that are meaningful and valuable to our souls. Practicing gratitude is supposed to stimulate our brains to release dopamine and serotonin – two of our neurotransmitters that positively affect our emotions and lead to a better mood, giving us a sense of feeling happy from the inside out.
Well, I was certainly tapping into gratitude, prayerful and often meditated – and I could feel the emotion of happiness ….. but I felt that the experience of joy was quite elusive for me. And in my meaning making moments, I thought that practicing gratitude and “rejoicing in the Lord” should lead me into the pathways of joy as well as happiness. This led me to pondering more deeply the differences between joy and happiness.
I think happiness is more about pleasure. It can be derived from materialism (enjoying and appreciating our homes/clothing), sensualism (enjoying a great meal with good friends) and the pride we take in our life and achievements (feeling great and satisfied about reaching a goal/personal growth). It is quite dependent on externals and what is/is not going on in our lives.
Joy however, I believe goes deeper than happiness and touches our spirit more than our soul. There is some research suggesting that joy may be more strongly associated with overall well-being and is often accompanied by feelings of excitement, elation in a moment of time and a sense of being fully alive (Fredrickson, 2018)
In the bible, Paul teaches: “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Romans 14:17
Christ declared in John 15:11 “These things have I spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full”.
And in Galations5:22-23 joy is listed as a fruit of the spirit. It can bring us strength, comfort, elation, contentment, healing and peace.
I know that joy is deeper, more enduring and I personally ascribe it a far greater value than happiness in my life. So I wanted to feel and know joy – deeply and intimately!
…….Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I kept struggling with joy. It seemed elusive to me and I craved it more and more. I wondered why. What was I missing? ….
I would work diligently on the practice of gratitude and rejoicing in the Lord as Paul instructed in Philippians 4:4. I would do the hard work of forgiveness and processing pain in my life, look for the good, press into God through prayer, intentionally rejoice in my salvation, meditate on God’s goodness ……. and still have trouble with Joy. And then, because I knew that it was a fruit of the Spirit, I would feel ashamed of my Christian walk and wonder what was wrong with me.
As I searched for elusive Joy, I realised that I couldn’t even identify the body signals or somatic (felt sense in my body) experiences of Joy. I found this quite alarming. What was wrong with me?
Every emotion we experience has a chemical signature and sensation in our bodies. I was adept at sensing, noticing and naming sadness, happiness, anger, excitement, fear, surprise, disgust and many more emotional experiences in my body. But Joy was just one big elusive and mysterious bubble.
Can you relate to any of this?
So, after many years I earnestly sought and enquired of the Lord and a verse of Scripture popped into my mind so clearly and quickly….. (why do we take so long to enquire of the Lord – head bang). This is what I received for myself…..
“……… for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Phillipians 4:11-13)
Contentment – there it was! The missing key to experiencing Joy for me was to learn the secret of Contentment! Breakthrough, here I come!
I particularly love the Amplified bible’s version of these verses:
“……I have learned to be content [and self-sufficient through Christ, satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or uneasy] regardless of my circumstances. 12 I know how to get along and live humbly [in difficult times], and I also know how to enjoy abundance and live in prosperity. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret [of facing life], whether well-fed or going hungry, whether having an abundance or being in need. 13 I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.”
God graciously granted me insight into my blind spot and I began to see just how much dissatisfaction and discontentment I had been nurturing….. even though I had a robust daily practice of gratitude, prayer and meditation and could feel happiness at times. This revelation astounded me!
We can practice gratitude & prayer & experience happiness and still harbour discontentment ~ which blocks Joy!
Learning the art of contentment is best summed up for me in the age-old Serenity Prayer credited to American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr (1892 – 1971)
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the different.
Acceptance requires me to serenely surrender (not kicking and thrashing around in protest which I have a habit of doing ~ especially in seasons of sorrow and suffering) to God’s Sovereignty in my life and my relationships. For this, my Trust and Faith in God’s goodness and faithfulness required a season of refining and strengthening. To embrace Courage to change the things that I can affect required a season of healing, grieving and post traumatic growth. And to gain Wisdom to know the difference between the two – well that is a definite ongoing and active reach on behalf of my will to consistently seek and enquire of the Lord and His precepts…… for when we seek and enquire of Him in earnest diligence, He answers!
Praise God, I am finally starting to notice and connect with the fruit of the Spirit known as Joy. I can sense “her” presence in my spirit, soul and body and oh, what a delight she is. It is a total upgrade from happiness that I am eternally grateful for. It feels very much like a mix of peace, contentment, hope & excitement in my body with bubbles of effervescence at the top of my solar plexus and a gentle “warm weighted-ness” down in my belly button (it may feel different in your body as we are all unique!)
So dear friends, may you truly know Joy and the Joy of the Lord as your strength in your life. (Nehemiah 8:10).
May He “sow the seeds of light within your heart to illuminate your pathway; may He give you the irrepressible joy for the upright in heart, which comes from consciousness of His favour and protection” (my paraphrase from Psalm 97:11).
And if you are struggling with joy (or any fruit of the Spirit), may you humbly enquire of Him to give you revelation and insight into what the issue may be for you. We all have “blind spots”!
From my heart to yours,
Narelle